


Love and Loyalty

by junko



Series: Curse of the Nue [19]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-28
Updated: 2012-08-28
Packaged: 2017-11-13 02:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuya wants Renji, but doesn't know how to ask.  Renji, meanwhile, waits on the captain's word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Loyalty

Byakuya was growing annoyed. Was it truly so unusual for him to walk through his own division that everyone looked so shocked and snapped to attention anytime he walked in a room? The Third Seat was shaking like a leaf, too. What on earth was he so frightened of? “At ease,” Byakuya said gently. “I’m looking for Lieutenant Abarai.”

“Renji? Oh, he’s probably with—“ The Third stopped himself suddenly and paled. “Uh, that is, I’m sure he’ll be back any minute.”

Byakuya frowned. “What were you about to say? Who is he with?”

“Ms. Kuchiki,” the Third said, looking nervous and guilty.

“Ah, I see,” Byakuya said, uncertain how he felt about this news. He could hardly be jealous of his own sister, yet he was, in a way. Their bond so much stronger than anything he had with either of them. And, Renji… he continued to go to her, even when they might lose her. Byakuya couldn’t understand how he could do that. Seeing her so often would break him over and over again. 

Byakuya realized the Third was still staring at him nervously.

“Very well,” Byakuya said, “Send him to me when he returns, would you?”

“Yes, sir.”

#

Of course, the first thing Rukia wanted to know about was the commotion, and Renji hated lying to her. So, he tried to change the subject, “I’m sure the transfer order is coming soon. Are you going to be ready?”

He knew he wasn’t. Once she was in Senzaikyū Shishinrô, he wasn’t going to be able to see her every day. There sure as hell would be no dropping by in the middle of the night to talk about the meaning of life or reminisce about their Academy days. Plus, it would make this whole thing real again. He’d have to face the truth: she was going to be executed… publicly.

“How can I be ready for something like that?” she snapped, exasperated. “What happened today? Why won’t you tell me what the alarms were for? I heard the Sixth was deployed. You were there, weren’t you?”

He had to get her off this. Renji turned to face her; she was kneeling on her chair again, glaring at him. “Listen, did your brother ever take a wakashū before?”

“A what?” She frowned angrily. Renji thought he might have to repeat the question, but then it was as if the words finally hit her. Rukia’s expression slowly paled and her eyes widened. Then her hand flew up to cover her mouth and a blush bloomed across her nose, “Oh! Wait, ‘before’? Are you saying he has one now?”

Renji found he couldn’t say anything, only blush in return.

“Oh! Oh my goodness, a wakashū! But, I should be happy, right?” Rukia said, sounding a little breathless and hysterical, instead. “I mean, that’s progress, isn’t it? He hasn’t had anyone in so long. I guess it’s good he’s not so lonely any more, but a wakashū!? Doesn’t that make this lover of his fifteen or something?”

“Or lower class,” Renji grumbled.

“There really is someone! Wow. I just never thought nii-sama would go for a boy.”

“Really?” Renji was intrigued. “Why not?”

“Well,” she rested the point of her chin on her hands, which she folded over the back of the chair. Even though Renji could tell she’d been crying, her face was thoughtful now. “It’s not that I couldn’t necessarily see him with a dude, it’s more that I’m having trouble with the whole wakashū-thing. I don’t know much about what you guys get up to, but wouldn’t you rather have a man than a boy? I know I would…” she coughed, as though covering an embarrassing thought.

Renji shrugged, he certainly wasn’t going to offer his own preference. Nor was he going to argue hers, especially since he knew she had most recently fallen for a younger man. He didn’t think she’d appreciate a tease about that, especially since the last she’d heard Ichigo was dead. 

She continued, “Uh, well, what I mean is, I know it’s all traditional and everything, but it seems kind of creepy, doesn’t it? It’s always sort of sounded like institutionalized child molestation to me. Some powerful shinigami picks a teen apprentice or someone without a lot of options to teach them the way of the warrior… in the battlefield and in the bedroom? Creepy. I never saw my brother like that.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Renji agreed. 

“So that’s really what’s going on?” Rukia picked up her head curiously. “Byakuya has a wakashū? For real?”

“Well, that’s what he says,” Renji explained. “I’m not buying it.”

“Oh?”

Renji turned his back to her because he was sure she’d see the truth in his eyes, if he let her. “I think your brother is with someone he finds ‘inappropriate’ on some level, someone he doesn’t quite respect, someone he thinks is beneath him, and this is how he sells it to himself.”

“I could see that,” she said quietly.

There was more to it, of course, but Renji wasn’t sure how to explain it without giving the truth away. He hated keeping this secret from her, too, but he had no idea what she’d think of him taking up with her brother. Renji could use advice from someone who knew Byakuya, but he also didn’t want her to go to her execution hating either of them.

“I can see why that would upset you, too, Renji.”

“What?” Could she have guessed already? “What makes you say that?”

“You’re the one who said it. He’s picked someone from a lower class, someone from the Rukongai, hasn’t he? And you’re stuck watching nii-sama mistreat this guy, aren’t you? It must make you furious.”

Renji’s shoulders relaxed, “Yeah, something like that.”

“Don’t let it get to you, Renji,” she said softly. “It won’t last. This man, whoever he is, he won’t put up with my brother’s holier-than-thou attitude forever, and, if it’s true, that you think Byakuya doesn’t respect him… well, the family will eventually put a stop to it, and Byakuya will let them, especially if he doesn’t really care for this person.”

Renji thought about that for a moment, and then grunted, “That’s depressing.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, I mean what if they’re in love?”

“Don’t kid yourself. They can’t be in that kind of relationship. Not both of them, anyway. My brother would never fall in love with someone he didn’t respect. So, if anyone is in love it’s the other guy.”

'Byakuya would never fall in love with someone he didn’t respect’? Shit. It was pretty clear to Renji that respect had yet to come into play in their relationship. Maybe there was no hope for them after all. Either that, or Renji had to figure out how to make Byakuya respect him. Hmph, might as well try to move a mountain. 

Rukia continued, “I feel bad for the wakashū, myself. That poor fool. When this guy gets tossed aside, where’s he supposed to go? He’s been treated to the life inside the Kuchiki mansion, and then he’s going to have to go back to the slums? Sucks to be him.”

Renji snorted a laugh, “Yeah, I’ll say.”

“I know you don’t like it, but don’t interfere, Renji. It’s none of our business,” Rukia admonished. “My brother probably thinks of that waskashū as his property, and you’ll only make him angry if you try to get between them. And, anyway, that guy isn’t blameless either. He made his choices.”

“I guess he did, at that,” Renji agreed. “If he wants out, he’s got to man up.”

“Exactly,” Rukia said. They were silent for a moment before Rukia asked, “Now are you going to tell me what happened today or not?”

“Look at the time,” Renji said, pushing off the jail cell bars with his foot and heading for the door. “Sorry. I’ve got to go.”

He waved goodbye over his shoulder and laughed as she raised her fist at him in return, and shouted, “You did that on purpose! You’re a bastard, Renji Abarai!”

“Love you too, Rukia,” he shouted back.

#

So much of what Rukia had said continued to rattle around of Renji’s brain as he made his way back to the division’s main office. _‘He probably thinks of the waskashū as his property’_ and _‘my brother would never fall in love with someone he didn’t respect’_ in particular had really struck him. Byakuya had been sort of treating Renji like he owned him—making all the demands during sex. But how much of that was this crazy waskashū stuff and how much was just… the way the captain was? It didn’t help that all this was tangled in their working relationship as captain and subordinate. 

Renji was so lost in thought the Third Seat almost bowled him over. “Oh, thank fate! There you are, lieutenant. Captain Kuchiki was just here, looking for you.”

“Here? You mean he actually came downstairs?”

“Yes,” the Third said nervously. “I’m sorry, sir. I had to tell him you were with Ms. Kuchiki. I don’t think that made him happy… I told you, you should stop seeing his sister.”

Renji really to smack the Third upside the head for that little dig, but he took a deep breath instead. “What did the captain want?”

“I don’t know, sir, he didn't say, but he asked to see you right away.”

“Fine,” Renji said, as he left the Third in charge and headed upstairs. It was probably nothing; in fact it most likely had to do with the outcome of Byakuya’s meeting with the head captain. He couldn’t help feeling a little dread though, thanks to the Third. Would Byakuya really be angry that he’d seen Rukia? He was never quite sure that Byakuya approved of his sister keeping such close ties to someone from her past life in Inuzuri. But surely, the captain would want Rukia to have the comfort of her friends on her last days, wouldn’t he? He’d signed the order for the aid from the Fourth, after all. 

The captain’s door was closed, but Renji could feel Byakuya’s presence on the other side. He kicked off his sandals and knocked.

“Come in, Renji,” Byakuya said. 

As he stepped into the darkened office, Renji took the moment he always did to admire his captain. Byakuya was still as beautiful as always—his pale skin almost aglow in the soft light, and the blackness of his hair was like liquid darkness. Renji had worried that somehow all the shit that had come between them would mar his ability to appreciate Byakuya, but it never seemed to—even with the kenseikan holding back his hair and all the stiff formality of the scarf and haori.

_Still so fucking peerless._

_Too bad that’s part of our problem--if only you could think of me as a peer, an equal._

“Were your ears burning, sir?” Renji asked, deciding to just head straight into the fight, if there was going to be one. “I swear all Rukia ever says is ‘nii-sama’ this and ‘nii-sama,’ that.”

Byakuya had been writing at his desk and his brush paused. He didn’t look up, but he sounded almost surprised when he asked, “She speaks of me?”

Renji came all the way in and presented himself in front of the desk. “Of course, you’re her big brother. She idolizes you.” _It’s something we had in common, before I started sleeping with you,_ Renji added silently.

“That’s unfortunate,” Byakuya said coldly. “The execution has been moved up. She’ll be transferred tomorrow and executed in fourteen days.”

“Fuck,” Renji breathed before he could stop himself, but Byakuya’s words had been like a blow to the gut. He suddenly had no air to breathe, but he managed to pull himself together under Byakuya’s glare. “I’d like to request the honor of accompanying Rukia to the Senzaikyū, sir.”

It was the captain’s turn to make a choked sort of sound, but it was quiet and he covered it quickly. Byakuya stared at Renji for a long time. “Renji… Are you sure?”

“Yes, I don’t want her to go alone.”

Byakuya’s gaze dropped to his desk. He surprised Renji by admitting, “Nor I.” He set his brush down and looked up, “I will make certain it’s possible.”

“Thank you, sir,” Renji said formally. 

Now that he was recovering from the shock of the news, Renji’s mind brimmed with questions. Why was Central 46 in such a damn hurry to see Rukia dead? It was like they couldn’t make up their minds how severe her punishment should be, and every time they did, it got worse. Were they trying to make an example of her for some reason? Shouldn’t she at least face a military tribunal? The proof she’d done it was obvious from the fact that Sode no Shirayuki was gone, but surely there were extenuating circumstances. Shouldn’t she have a chance to explain her actions before facing the ultimate punishment?

Renji knew better than to ask Byakuya about any of this, even though the captain must be wondering the same things. After exhausting the legal avenues, Byakuya seemed to have given up the fight. Couldn’t the captain at least try to appeal this new date? Or had Renji’s report of seeing Kurosaki at the gate been the reason behind the new order? 

Fuck. It would kill him to know it was his fault that Rukia was going to face the Sōkyoku sooner. But, the truth was, pretty soon he was going to have to deal with the fact that the whole thing was his fault. He was the one who dragged her back here. Sure, he was following orders, but his actions were going to be the death of his best friend in the whole world, a woman he loved more than his own life.

“There is a small amount of good news,” Byakuya said quietly, breaking through Renji’s darkening mood. “It seems Ichimaru will face a captain’s meeting for his negligence.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s good,” Renji said. 

#

It was so clear that they were both devastated by this news. Byakuya could hear it in Renji’s voice, see in his eyes, his face, his body language, his… everything—it was never difficult to read his lieutenant, who wore every emotion on his sleeve for the whole world to see. 

And yet, somehow, Renji had the strength to personally deliver Rukia to the Senaikyû. Byakuya couldn’t help but admire that, especially since it was beyond the call of duty. Renji displayed such unwavering loyalty to Rukia, even though they hadn’t seen each other regularly since Academy.

_Would he be like this for me?_

Byakuya hoped so, but he had such a hard time with trust—especially when it came to being there in times of crisis. Everyone had left: his parents, Yoruichi, Hisana.… It didn’t matter how much he’d needed someone, needed support—he’d had to face everything alone.

He’d have to face this alone, too.

After all, he’d done such a fine job of chasing Renji away this morning, how could he ask him to stay tonight?

#

Renji waited for the captain to ask.

If Byakuya ever needed a hug, it was going to be tonight. Hell, Renji could go for a little creature comfort himself. He’d offer, but, after the slap back this morning, it had to come from the captain. It had better fucking start with an apology too, or at the very least a sense that they weren’t coming together with Renji as a waskashū or whatever.

But, there was nothing. It was so silent, it didn’t even seem like Byakuya was breathing.

Should Renji really be surprised? He wasn't, yet why did it still hurt so damn much?

_Let’s go_ , whispered Zabimaru.

_Let’s find another’s arms to hold us._

Renji started a little at that. _You ’d have me leave him?_

_He lacks the courage to deserve us._

Strangely, it was Renji who was reluctant to leave without giving Byakuya one last chance, “Unless there’s something else, Taicho?”

Byakuya looked up. Renji could see it, plain as day in his eyes—the trembling desire, the vulnerable need.

_Come on, damn it_ , Renji pleaded into that gaze. _Say something. Just fucking ask already, and I’ll say yes._

But, Byakuya lowered his eyes to stare blindly at his desk. “You’re free to go, lieutenant.”

Renji let out a disappointed sigh. Despite the dismissal, he stared at Byakuya’s impassive face. Was it cowardice as Zabimaru suggested or too much pride? Gods only knew, but it was Byakuya’s own damn fault if he was alone tonight. 

“Right,” Renji said finally, turning to go, “As you wish.”


End file.
